What's up? Nothing much I guess, except that I'm in O&G posting now, professional exam is getting closer and I feel like I am getting dumber day by day.
I am pretty much the same, still sane, still a procrastinator, still indecisive, still regretting & contemplating bout the past, complaining bout the present, and worrying bout the future.
Regrets? Well there's a lot of them... Too many to mention...Plus I just don't feel comfortable mentioning them, not that they are all that personal... Let's just say there are things that I should and shouldn't have done...
Yes, I like to contemplate about the past. I always wonder, would I have been a different person if I did certain things and made certain major decisions differently? What would I be doing now if I did not choose to do medicine 5 years ago? What would I be like? How would my life be? I know, it is pointless doing all the contemplating and guessing. But I can't help but to wonder very often. There are just so many what-ifs.
Complaints? Oh yes. Constantly dissatisfied with my achievement and progress. Feel like I am forgetting things at a greater rate than I used to. Realize that there are so many knowledge to acquire and my knowledge is just so frustratingly deficient. Unhappy with my lack of initiative, hard-work and practice. Unhappy with my introversion & impaired social skill. Disappointed with my time management. Bla bla bla....Am I being too harsh on myself? I think not. I can be better. I should be better. I should not regress. I should strive harder.
Worries? Hell lot of them. Worry bout my academic achievement. Always wonder how to strike a balance between study and play. Always worry about my career. What am I going to be? Where am I 10 years later? Can I achieve what I desire? Will I be happy doing what I am doing? Will I be happy, or miserable & lonely? Will my country's leaders ever make the right decisions? Will my parents know I love them if I don't express it verbally? Haiz why can't I just let go and let the future unfold itself? Worrying ain't gonna help....
Regrets, complaints and worries.... Gotta find a way to put a stop to it. Those freaking things make me unhappy. I can't continue living my life each day with all that. No one can.
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