No More

It's over. O&G posting is over.

No more having to worry about new admissions after 12 midnight. It felt really awful to find out that I had to cover a new admission in a rush the next morning before the round started.

No more having to wake up early at 6am after a night with inadequate sleep to face a long day ahead.

No more having to face the frustration of organizing and re-organizing my history to ensure that it was concise and I had everything important included.

No more palpitations and uneasiness when I witnessed my colleague being grilled during presentation and I was up next, worrying about the same fate.

No more frustrations of being grilled after I thought I had done everything possible to avoid mistakes. How delusional I am.

No more frustrations of not getting to present what I had extensively prepared. I spent a lot of time organizing the history and thought that "yo I'm gonna nail it man", but then the next day what they want was a quick summary. A quickie. Zzz. Coulda used those preparation time to study or sleep.

No more mundane routine of covering post-SVD cases or IOL cases. I need variety man. Sometimes bed covering took away the time for me to visit other ward in order to see different cases.

Do I hate it? No. It was a good training. I am the kinda person who needs to be pushed and pressured.

Do I want to go over this again? Big NO! I think 2-week is enough. I don't want to have my life expectancy shortened further from the inadequate sleep and the constant worry, on top of my pre-existing worries about other stuff in my life. =.=

Phew!

Relax bro~

Time is running out....fast...

Yes, this is me. This is how I perceive time. You may think I have a type A personality based on that, but that's not entirely true. I am a rather uptight person who constantly worry about my performance and final exam which is around the corner. Still, I do spend a rather significant amount of time in watching drama series, running, reading blogs and also in online social networking hehehe. So, what does it make me? I'm not quite sure, maybe a little bit of type A and type B. Nobody understands me well, even myself.

After the O&G posting exams, I am mentally and physically more relieved, at least for a while. The endless bed-covering in ward has kinda drained a lot of energy out of me. Last weekend, I scrambled last-minute in order to ensure adequate preparation for the exam. Now that it is over, I finally can took some time to resume exercising, blogging and chatting. The feeling of being able to do all these things without having to worry, even only for a while, is good.

I know this relaxed, laid-back mood is going to be short-lived. Next week, I am entering my final posting before facing my greatest fear (so far) - Professional Exam. Final posting man. Don't play play. I dread to think the amount of books I will have to revise and the amount of time needed to refresh and improve my clinical skills. Time to buckle up. Looks like some sacrifices have to be made in terms of entertainment.

No, that's not all of it. Don't be silly. 

Before all the laments and worries start creeping back, I am just gonna take it easy for the next few days. 

Relax bro ~~!

Opus Bistro @ Bangsar - great dinner, great company

Despite the lack of sleep the night before in preparation for ward round, I dragged myself to Opus Bistro located in Bangsar. I was introduced to this reputed restaurant only a few weeks ago. Voted as one of the top 20 restaurants in kl in the Malaysia Best Restaurants Guide, I went there with high anticipation (and expectation lol).

nek, evets, thambi, ZT, HL

Ambience was good. The variety of food was adequate. Pricing was standard. Most importantly, the food were great. I ordered Grilled Chicken with spaghetti in mushroom sauce. The chicken breast was well-baked, rather tender for a breast; the pasta was well-cooked, and the the mushroom sauce was creamy and flavorful. I didn't get to try the other dishes, but my friends did compliment the food. Chocolate desire was a nice dessert to end the dinner.

Clockwise from left: Spinach ravioli, Grilled chicken,
Linguini aglio olio with smoked duck, Spaghetti Carbonara.

Clockwise from left: Chocolate desire, Angel hair pasta with scallops,
Chef's special tiramisu. Angel hair pasta with foie gras.

With great company plus great food, it was indeed a very pleasant night . On top of it, I got to enjoy the dinner for free thanks to them. =)

Rants of the day

To the guys (or the guy, if you know what i mean) out there who practice offences as stated below:

1. Please lift the lid of the toilet bowl before peeing. It is disgusting to see your concentrated dried urine stain on it. FYI i do not poo by squating on the toilet bowl.

2. Please collect all your air-dried / sun-dried undies from the clothes rack. They are really space occupying. Who keeps them there for weeks?! Please be considerate. People need the space.

3. The space above the fridge is for sharing. Please don't place your stuff there and occupy 80% of the space. Some of those stuff are junk and should have been thrown away. Again please be considerate, people need the space.

4. Seriously dude, you gotta find a solution for the body odour. It is kinda hard to put up with it.

Done venting.

Of Regrets, Complaints & Worries

What's up? Nothing much I guess, except that I'm in O&G posting now, professional exam is getting closer and I feel like I am getting dumber day by day.

I am pretty much the same, still sane, still a procrastinator, still indecisive, still regretting & contemplating bout the past, complaining bout the present, and worrying bout the future.

Regrets? Well there's a lot of them... Too many to mention...Plus I just don't feel comfortable mentioning them, not that they are all that personal... Let's just say there are things that I should and shouldn't have done...

Yes, I like to contemplate about the past. I always wonder, would I have been a different person if I did certain things and made certain major decisions differently? What would I be doing now if I did not choose to do medicine 5 years ago? What would I be like? How would my life be? I know, it is pointless doing all the contemplating and guessing. But I can't help but to wonder very often. There are just so many what-ifs.

Complaints? Oh yes. Constantly dissatisfied with my achievement and progress. Feel like I am forgetting things at a greater rate than I used to. Realize that there are so many knowledge to acquire and my knowledge is just so frustratingly deficient. Unhappy with my lack of initiative, hard-work and practice. Unhappy with my introversion & impaired social skill. Disappointed with my time management. Bla bla bla....Am I being too harsh on myself? I think not. I can be better. I should be better. I should not regress. I should strive harder.

Worries? Hell lot of them. Worry bout my academic achievement. Always wonder how to strike a balance between study and play. Always worry about my career. What am I going to be? Where am I 10 years later? Can I achieve what I desire? Will I be happy doing what I am doing? Will I be happy, or miserable & lonely? Will my country's leaders ever make the right decisions? Will my parents know I love them if I don't express it verbally? Haiz why can't I just let go and let the future unfold itself? Worrying ain't gonna help....

Regrets, complaints and worries.... Gotta find a way to put a stop to it. Those freaking things make me unhappy. I can't continue living my life each day with all that. No one can.

_uck (lame shit)

_uck

What alphabet would you use to fill in the blank? What is the word that you are forming in your brain straightaway when you see it?

Duck: you are lame-r than my current state of mind.

Fuck: you are most probably normal.

Luck: you must be in some serious shit, you are trying to see luck in every corner.

Puck: you are a hardcore DotA fan, and your favourite hero is Puck; or

         you are a hardcore Glee fan, and your favourite character is Puck.

Suck: you are disgusting.

Tuck: you are a Nip/Tuck fan.

Yuck: you are judgmental.

Just so you know, I am normal.

Life As We Know It - Great soundtracks!

Watched 'Life As We Know It' yesterday. To me, the movie is rather decent, but the soundtracks are GREAT! There are two songs in the movie that I really like, hence I'm promoting them here.


#1

The Song Of the Week goes to For You Now by Bruno Merz (not to be confused with Bruno Mars lol). It's slow, sweet & serene. I was instantly touched by the melody when I was in the cinema watching the movie. The song fitted into the scene perfectly. This is the kinda song where you need to lie down, close your eyes, forgo all your thoughts and immerse yourself into its wonderful melody, in the middle of the quiet night.

#2

Sweet Child O'Mine is a great rock song, originally sung by Guns N' Roses. However, I like the Taken by Trees' version better. As opposed to GnR's high-energy, rock version, this cover is slow-tempo & mellow. A nice switch indeed.

Well, in case for some reasons, you find the above two songs boring, I got something else for you. This one sure is going to entertain you. Our country's very own product. Ladies and gentlemen,

.

.

.

.

.

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DP Seri Rosmah Mansor's music video - If Tomorrow Never Comes!! Don't play play man, our first lady got MV. How many PMs' wife in this world do you know that has her own MV? Swell man. And the music video is an epic _ _ _ _. The red border, the karaoke lyric... Wait until you watch the MV, whoah man, the voice, the scenes... Not to be missed!

p.s. don't kill me, shit.

Defense Mechanisms

Definition of Defense Mechanisms: "Unconscious psychological strategies brought into play by various entities to cope with reality and to maintain self-image"

Damn defense mechanism. All of us has it, each with different degrees and types. It prevents you from doing something you should, which you are afraid to / not willing to / lazy to.

For example, when you like someone, but are too coward to express it / not sure how to / afraid of ridicule and rejection, defense mechanism creeps in. It will make you think that you don't deserve that someone, you will not get along with that someone in a long run, and that someone does not have feelings for you, and that another someone will come along when you are prepared etc etc....

But, the truth is, you don't exactly know the answer for it. All you have to do is TRY. Damn it, the defense mechanism will make you do all the stupid assumptions which will lead you to an assumed conclusion aka hypothesis, and influence you into giving up trying, because it is trying to protect you from the possible rejection/ ridicule/ awkwardness/ failed relationship. Again, all the negative outcomes are merely possibilities, but the defense mechanism is so powerful that it makes you think the odds of failure are higher, hence it will be a futile attempt. In the end, you give up trying. Occasionally, you may have the urge to break out from such cowardice and THINK of trying, but then, sigh, defense mechanism is still playing with your mind, eventually successfully persuaded you into giving up. And this thing will go on and on until the opportunity is gone. And then you regret. Deeply.

Another scenario: You are so eager to take medical history from a patient, however that patient was clerked multiple times over. Then, defense mechanism sets in. It wants to protect you from the POSSIBLE rejection from a patient who MAY or MAY NOT be tired of all the clerking. In order to protect you, it will manipulate your mind like the example above, pushing you into making several assumptions:

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"Aiya read the case note enough already la"

"Aiya I have seen such case before, I think the symptoms are the same la"

"I think the patient is tired now, maybe i should come back again later" 

"The patient looks fierce, the probability of being rejected is high, aiya no need to ask la"

"Aiya fever only, no need practice taking history, I can wait for more interesting cases"

"Aiya pity the patient, clerked so many times already; those people lack empathy la, keep disturbing him. I won't want to tire him"

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And you get so creative that you can come out with so many other assumptions, just to hinder you from even approaching the patient. As a result, you risk faltering during case presentation, because you are full of assumptions and lack practice. 

The worse thing is that, sometimes you are rejected by patients and are let down. That will empower your defense mechanism, generating protection at lower threshold. You chicken out more easily in coming encounters. =.=

I can go on and on, giving more examples, but I ASSUME I have made my point.

F**k you defense mechanism!!

P.S. The above 2 examples are rationalization. There are worse types of defense mechanisms which I won't want to discuss.

Gleeky me!

Yes, I'm a Gleek.

I like Glee so much that I always replay the favorite parts over and over again, and this can go on for more than 20 times. I like Glee so much that I can't contain my feeling and hence I gotta express by blogging about it. (I wish I have such passion in study =.=)

Have you watched the latest season (S2)? Whoah surprise man! Charice joined the cast as Sunshine Corazon. And the interesting part is, she is gonna rival Rachel Berry and New Direction members hahaha. This is gonna inject a lot of excitement to the show. I'm looking forward to more great performances from her. Btw, I kinda wonder, who will be the lead singer in Vocal Adrenaline then? I mean Sunshine Corazon is great, but Jesse St. James (Jonathan Groff) is just as awesome, if not better. Man he has a wide vocal range! Love his rendition of Highway to Hell and Bohemian Rhapsody... ...

Then in the episode 2 of S2, Glee brought us another surprise. Britney! This is a brilliant theme. The choreography in "I'm a slave for you" and "Me Against The Music" was almost 100% adapted from Britney's music video. Despite the purposeful adaptation and hence the lack of originality, I actually enjoy it a lot! It is refreshing to see someone else doing all the Britney moves. Besides, Brittany (Heather Morris) can dance!! In season 1, she had barely any standout performance. In this episode, she was so impressive in her dancing that I watched her performance for like 20 times already. Ah I wonder why she only get to shine so late? Producer, more air time and solo performance for her please!! 

Glee redeemed itself in terms of originality when they performed Toxic. Love the rearrangement they did to the song, which make it sound more seductive, addictive and erm, toxic. Will Schuester's (Matthew Morrison) voice is so smooth and silky and incredible, and he can make any songs better to listen to! In short, Britney/Brittany is one of my favorite episode to date.

The strength of New Direction is certainly not their choreography, but the singing itself, and also the unity and the inspiration they brought. Yesterday, I re-watched certain parts of previous season, and I gotta say, I can't get enough of Vocal Adrenaline's performances! Love the choreography in "Rehab" and "Mercy" especially. "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Highway to Hell" were great too.

Another surprise I got earlier on was the appearance of Neil Patrick Harris as Bryan Ryan and his singing capability. Wow, the duet with Will Schuester in "Dream On" was amazing! I went insane when they both hit the high note at the end of the song. I was like "What? Neil Patrick Harris can sing? He can hit Adam-Lambert-like falsetto?! I thought he can only act!" I replayed that performance so many times.

Strain!

Another character that I GOTTA mention here is April Rhodes (Kristin Chenoweth). Ah, another Broadway performer with crazy vocal range! She impressed me the most when she sang "Maybe This Time" against Rachel. April won hands down! This song was looped in my music player for an extensive amount of time =)

Of course, Glee is not just all about sky-high falsettos and spectacular choreography. There were many ballads and slow-tempo renditions that really hit my soft spot. My top two favorites in this category: Lean On Me & Smile. These two songs were well sung and were incorporated into the right scenes. Everytime I listened to those songs, my frustration and unhappiness will be relieved, albeit temporary. Apart from these two songs, Sweet Caroline, Somewhere Over The rainbow, True Colour, Don't Stop Believing, Somebody To Love and Dream a Little Dream Of Me were among the songs I really liked.

Lean on me

In short, I am a Gleek. I love the song selection, and their interpretation of the songs, and not to mention the choreography. The themes are highly variable and well-presented. I can't deny the fact that sometimes, the storyline are over-the-top and cheesy. However, there were certain scenes that were genuinely hilarious/ inspirational/ almost tear-jerking.

Yea, you can call me shallow or whatever for watching and being obsessed with Glee. I don't care, because I have found something that I really enjoy - a good musical that suits my taste. 

Thank you Ryan Murphy. Keep it up ya.

If I Ain't Got You

Widely known fact 1: Maroon 5 is a pop rock band.

Widely known fact 2: Adam Levine's voice is distinctive, melodic

Not-so-widely known fact 1: Adam Levine can sing R & B.

Not-so-widely known fact 2: Adam Levine can sing it WELL!

Listened to Maroon 5's live cover of Alicia Key's If I Ain't Got You. Very nice! I really didn't expect him to sing R & B so well. Love the part where he hit the high note with his falsetto near the end of the song! Too bad none of the videos available in Youtube is clear, and don't do Adam Levine justice. You can get the song from Maroon 5's latest album - Hands All Over.

Adam Levine's voice to me isn't the strongest, but it is very unique and distinctive. Maybe 'whimsical' is the word for it.

Gonna loop the song in my player for quite some time. Adam Levine FTW!

P.S. I like the first verse of the song. Very true indeed. What do you live for?

Burgers!

I am a sucker for burgers. When it comes to burger, I have a penchant for beef. I have been to several places to try out burgers. So I'm gonna do a little comparisons here.

1. Tony Roma's  - Big Stack Burger

Went to Tony Roma's at Mid Valley Mall for the second time yesterday. The first time, I ordered quarter chicken and I was let down. This time around, as the set lunch promotion was still available, I decided to give it another try and ordered a burger. The name "Big Stack Burger" was rather justified. The portion was big, with a mix of beef patty, cheese, bacon, and some greens forming a big stack! It tasted good. Love the juicy patty, the cheese and the bacon on top! Overall a satisfying meal, which changed my initial impression towards Tony Roma's.

2. Cristang  - Pork Burger

Went to Cristang at 8 Avenue, Petaling Jaya with friends as we all had never tried pork burgers in our life. This burger was an all-rounder! Totally enjoyed the juicy pork patty, the tasty bun which can be eaten on its own, the very delicious pork chilli con carne and the Cajun wedges, which I dubbed as the best potato wedges I had ever tried. You should try this some day.

3. Frontera - Beef Burger

Frontera Bar & Grill at Jaya One, Petaling Jaya serves a variety of Tex-Mex food. During my first visit, I was attracted by a banner promoting their burger and I decided to give it a try. I was impressed by the huge beef patty. Apart from the good size, the patty was juicy and tasted good. Would taste even better if topped with a layer of cheese =). Despite being irrelevant, I gotta mention the Habanero Buffalo Wings here! So goddamn hot man. Both the burger and buffalo wings were worth a try.

4. Chili's  - Oldtimer

I always like to visit Chili's due to the wide variety of foods they offer. I particularly like the Crispy Honey Chipotle Chicken, among others. The honey-chipotle sauce was AWESOME!!! Ok back to burger. I tried the Oldtimer. Wasn't really impressed though. The bun was dry. The beef patty wasn't juicy enough. Maybe I should have ordered medium instead of well-done. The fries, however, was as good as always.

5. New York New York - Juicy Cheese Burger Supreme

Tried this when I was in Singapore. Nothing impressive. Nothing supreme. 

In my opinion, among the burgers I have tried so far, Cristang is the one to beat. Juicy pork patty aside, the topping and the wedges really complement the patty well. Tony Roma's Big Stack Burger and Frontera's Beef Burger was really nice too.

Read from a blog that Pink Sage's American Classic Cheeseburger was superb. Hope to try that out some day.

Time

"Time is very slow for those who wait,

very fast for those who are scared,

very long for those who lament,

very short for those who celebrate.

But, for those who love, time is eternity."

(William Shakespeare)

Received an email containing the above excerpt. And it makes me contemplate.

I belong the the group who think time is moving very fast. I guess that means I'm scared.

I'm scared of the uncertainties I'm about to face as my life goes on.

I'm scared of getting what I don't deserve.

Heck, I'm even scared of the fact that I don't deserve what I want.

I'm scared that I'm not good enough.

I'm scared of the fact that I'm too scared commit mistakes.

I'm scared that I have been doing the wrong thing.

I'm scared that I have been making the wrong decisions.

I'm scared that my personality and my outlook towards life will make me an introvert, making me living in forever loneliness.

I'm scared that I actually over-think and put myself into misery, when I'm actually leading an OK life.

I'm so scared that I wish time will move a bit slowly, so that I have the time to change myself into a more 'ideal' person, before everything is too late.

But time won't slow down.

I guess that means I have to change the way I think, feel and see things. If not, I will forever live in fear, doubts, loneliness and sadness.

FML.

Triple Cheeseburger + Cheese McShaker Fries

Warning: Chilli sauce kills the taste of cheese in the fries!

Double cheeseburger has always been my favourite burger in Mc Donald's. Recently, Mc Donald's launched Triple Cheeseburger. Love the juicy beef patty and heavy taste of cheese in my mouth!

Mc Donald's also introduced Cheese McShaker Fries. The fries are coated with generous amount of cheese powder and the taste is awesome.

I'm a cheese lover. With the introduction of Triple Cheeseburger and Cheese McShaker Fries, I'm not quite sure if I can resist the temptation to visit McDonald's again soon. You know, healthy eating ma....

Cheese + patty + cheese + patty + cheese + patty + cheese-coated fries ---> kinda cure my bad mood of having to come back to KL early.
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